Hollywood’s formal awards season may have ended with last week’s Academy Awards, but a spot in our Quotes of the Week collection is a year-round accolade.
In the list below, we’ve rounded up nearly 20 of TV’s most memorable sound bites from the past seven days, including moments both scripted and unscripted from broadcast, cable and streaming series.
This time we have the latest measure of a Keeley Jones F-bomb on Ted Lassoa nod to a certain one 9-1-1: Lone Star history best forgotten, a psychedelic drug trip that leaves Party down‘s Henry confused by his pop culture references, and American car‘s promise to viewers that they will never look at a bottle of mustard the same way again.
Also featured in this week’s roundup: double doses of The Way Home, Abbott Elementary and grey’s Anatomyplus quotable moments from The last of us, the voice, the servant and more shows.
Scroll through the list below to see all of our picks for the week, then hit the comments and let us know if we missed any of your favorites!
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PARTY DOWN
Image credit: Starz screenshot
“I can’t believe what I did! I’m the worst person in the whole world! What happened to me? I lost an entire guy!”
“No, Evie, there are worse people.”
“Not really! Name someone worse, I don’t know!”
“Stalin! Vlad the Impaler! John Krasinski! I mean, there are terrible people…”
“From The office?!”
Henry (Adam Scott) hilariously mistakes a beloved actor for the Unabomber while tripping on mushrooms
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TED LASSO
Image credit: Apple TV+ screenshot
“F—k you, Joe Rogan!”
We’re enjoying this trend of Keeley (Juno Temple) telling horrible men to stop (see also: Piers Morgan)
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TED LASSO (Bonus offer!)
Image credit: Apple TV+ screenshot
“God, it’s like a real office out there! People are writing and being awkward and everything!”
Keeley has officially arrived and Rebecca (Hannah Waddingham) is quick to notice
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THE VOICE
Image credit: NBC screenshot
“I can’t wait to see him in the next round do some Tim McGraw or something.”
Chance the Rapper playfully sulking after losing a soulful singer to Blake Shelton
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9-1-1: LONE STAR
Image credit: Fox screenshot
“You only get married once, mijo. Twice in your case, but only once to someone you love.”
Apparently, Carlos’ mother (Roxana Brusso) missed the memo to never bring up the Iris marriage story – ever again
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TRUE LIES
Image credit: CBS screenshot (2)
“Think of it as a work uniform.”
“A $10,000 work uniform, Harry?”
Harry (Steve Howey) tries to help Helen (Ginger Gonzaga) get comfortable in her (two pairs!) undercover Louboutins and stuff.
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THE WAY HOME
Image Credit: Hallmark Channel screenshot
“Look at you. You’ve aged like a moderately priced wine.”
Kat (Chyler Leigh) sees her high school friend Nick as an adult
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THE WAY HOME (Bonus Offer!)
Image Credit: Hallmark Channel screenshot
“I guess there are no parenting books for this unique situation.”
“Well, I could write one, but I don’t think I would sell very many copies. Build resilience in your time traveling teenager…”
“Yes, it’s a niche market.”
Elliot (Evan Williams) and Kat (Chyler Leigh) ponder how to break the news to Alice that her boyfriend from 1999 is engaged to the present timeline
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SERVING
Image credit: Apple TV+ screenshot
“It was the best thing anyone ever did for me. I would have given anything to have him for one more minute and you gave me months with him. But this pain that I feel now, it is also part of my love for him. I need to feel it.”
A newly enlightened Dorothy (Lauren Ambrose) declines Leanne’s offer to bring her dead son Jericho back to life
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ABBOTT ELEMENTARY
Image credit: ABC screenshot
“Draemond Changes Name to Legendary School Presents Abbott Charter.”
“What on earth Lee Daniels?”
Barbara (Sheryl Lee Ralph) reacts to Ava’s (Janelle James) announcement about the school’s potential new moniker
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ABBOTT ELEMENTARY (Bonus offer!)
Image credit: ABC screenshot
“I am very good at applying. People always open the door for me because they think I’m a lost child.”
Janine (Quinta Brunson) is confident that she can get the students’ parents to join her petition
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NCIS
Image credit: CBS screenshot
“Agent Parker, I trust you will tell me where I can get a proper varenyky?”
(The Senator hands Parker her card before leaving as Vance raises an eyebrow)
“A proper commodity nyky? Is that a euphemism?”
“It is now.”
Senator Miller (Brigid Brannagh) is interested in Alden’s… dumplings
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NEXT LEVEL COOK
Image credit: Fox screenshot
“Matt is freaking out, he has no starch. You don’t need a starch in every dish, this isn’t 1978!”
Richard believes that a chef’s big problem is actually small potatoes
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AMERICAN AUTO
Image credit: NBC screenshot
“Do you think Richard will stay with me if I’m the reason a picture of his penis with a rippled mustard gets on the internet?!”
“Why did you want to take that picture?”
“We thought it was going to be sexy! It was stupid! It wasn’t. It was humiliating, okay? It wasn’t fun. It wasn’t – Did you know mustard stains?! Did you know it stains skin?! I didn’t know that. I swear to God, I didn’t know that!”
Katherine (Ana Gasteyer) has a meltdown with Payne’s lawyer Elliot (Humphrey Ker) about hackers releasing her and her husband’s private nude photos
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GREY’S ANATOMY
Image credit: ABC screenshot
“If you take that hyena back home tonight, I’ll sleep in my van.”
“How is that a threat?”
Blue (Harry Shum Jr.) suggests that Mika (Midori Francis) reconsider how she encourages Lucas to dump her noisy new lover
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GREY’S ANATOMY (Bonus Offer!)
Image credit: ABC screenshot
“That woman yelling in (Owen’s) face!”
“It’s not you for once. It’s me trying to be encouraging.”
Bailey (Chandra Wilson) points out to Teddy (Kim Raver) the crux of her husband’s rocky evaluation in order to escape probation
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THE LAST OF US
Image credit: HBO screenshot
“So time heals all wounds I guess.”
“It wasn’t the time that did it.”
Ellie (Bella Ramsey) and Joel (Pedro Pascal) break our hearts with what they does not say in the season 1 finale
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THE MANDALORIANS
Image credit: Disney+ screenshot
Mando: This is the way
Bo: This is the way
Grogu: *crab noise* pic.twitter.com/wMojJ67rFj
— ✨Sam✨ (@AGalaxyDivided) 15 March 2023
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Grogu (apparently!) takes his first stab at the family mantra